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Gavin Puszczalowskyi – Jealousy is an evil mistress!!.

Sunday, May 6th, 2012

I write this blog at a very bad time. What seemed certain to happen weeks ago hasn’t happened and now I’m watching other people taste the glory I thought I was going to taste. That’s right, Sheffield Wednesday yesterday were promoted automatically into the Championship instead of my team, Sheffield United.

Now before you non-football lovers stop reading, there is a very important lesson in radio that can be learnt from this.

Yesterday I had 3 choices when it was confirmed that Sheffield Wednesday had sealed success over my team.

  1. I go quiet, go to ground and bury my head in the sand.
  2. I go on the attack. Moan about the bad luck my team has had and allow jealousy her time in the sun.
  3. I praise Sheffield Wednesday and take their success on the chin and offer praise where it is due.

I chose option 3 and I did so for 2 reasons.

  1. I get praise, instead of ridicule, from people I know who support Sheffield Wednesday for being gracious in defeat.
  2. I once read while trying to get into radio that you can never be as successful as the people that you are jealous of.

The article I read said that if you were jealous of another persons success you could also turn bitter towards their success, and in turn, jealousy and bitterness become an obstacle that stop you from joining the ranks of the successful ones. It’s an interesting concept and one that I use in radio.

The chances are that if you’re reading this right now, you wish to work in radio and you want it badly. Surrounding you are stories of how people made it and got their lucky break and some of the stories seem like the break came so easy.

You then wonder why it doesn’t seem so easy for you! There may be a time too when you apply for jobs and you don’t get them but you know the person who does get it. Then you start to ask why did they get it and not me?! What did I do wrong?! Why is that person better?

You are reminded every single day that you don’t work in radio because radio surrounds you every day of the week at home, in the car or at work.

The point being is that your jealousy and bitter barriers are tested all the time if you wish to work in radio and sometimes when they break you can do some damage. I know stories of people who have reacted to losing out on a job by demanding to know why they didn’t get the job. The bitter barrier burst for a while and emails and letters were sent to influential people demanding answers.

Please think about that for a second from the perspective of the person who advertised the job and employs people. Somebody you said no to has got back in touch demanding answers. Would you think that person was more employable than before and you missed out on a good worker OR do you think they have just justified your decision and confirmed you made the right choice?

The damage done is you have just made yourself less employable and next time you apply for a job with them, you stand even less chance than before and all because the bitter barrier burst for a while. By all means, inquire as to why you didnt get the job but do it in a respectful I-accept-your-decision manner. Don’t go demanding, always think of the bigger picture!.

If somebody gets a job you wanted or is at a station you wish to work at, or seems to get the breaks you want, congratulate them and use all that angst in a good way. Use it as fuel to burn your ambition. That is the only way you will end up being where they are.

When I wanted to work in radio, I knew many people that got their breaks before me. I congratulated them and enjoyed their success while all the time using it spur me on. I eventually got my break and 2 years later ended up presenting a breakfast show. My jealousy/bitter barriers stayed shut and the radio doors opened.

So next time something doesn’t go your way, make sure your jealous and bitter barriers are sealed firmly shut because every single time they open, if only for a short while, you could be moving yourself just a bit further away from your dream.

If you open your jealousy/bitter barriers, then the radio doors may stay shut.

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